National Lampoons Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1 DOS front cover
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National Lampoons Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1

Chess Maniac was originally set to be called “Chessmeister,” but the legal team at Spectrum Holobyte was worried that this would be too close to “Chessmaster,” one of the games that this was originally intended to parody.

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National Lampoons Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1 is humorous animated chess game; pieces capture with rude/funny digitized live-action cutscenes. Play National Lampoons Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1 online!

National Lampoons Chess Maniac 5 Billion and 1 game description

Chess Maniac Five Billion and One is very obviously meant to be a spoof of Chessmaster and goes quite a bit further to entertain than Battle Chess does. The emphasis here is on the word maniac because the people who designed this game had to be slightly off. The thing that impressed me about Chess Maniac is that even though the game does not appear, at first glance, to take chess very seriously there are a decent number of difficulty levels (10) and a lot of gameplay options that the player can experiment with that will not only provide a different look and feel but will also satisfy the chess enthusiast from novice to expert. I expected silly. I didn’t expect this kind of challenging and satisfying chess experience. Well done, MicroProse/Spectrum Holobyte.

The Maniac (the games host as described in the manual) is actually rarely seen in the game but the things he does to affect your play are present everywhere. If he beats you he will have raised your ire enough to want to play him again and kick his puny you-know-what. If you beat him, you will want to grind your victory in his face after the verbal abuse you have taken. After which he will calmly exclaim “Up Yours”. If you have ever seen 2001:Space Odyssey and remember the voice of HAL at the movies end you will recognize the voice in this game immediately. A computer’s version of insanity, I guess. There is also an option to turn his play by play description off although you can’t shut him up completely without turning the sound off. If you are ever feeling like playing a vanilla game of computer chess simply select the 2D board and turn your speakers off. If you want to play another person you can do that as well but you will have to do it on one computer; no networking is included.

Computer player tries to break your concentration with taunts and distracting animations–will steal a piece if you let it. Victory rewarded with cheesecake/beefcake/mountain-goat cutscene.

Great laughs, great chess — together at last!. Found to be raunchy and utterly degrading to everyone. Guaranteed RUDE. Sicker! Nastier! Sexier! Warning: Immature Content. May not be suitable for preteens, televangelists or former vice-presidents. Prenatal discretion advised.

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